High as a kite

One thing that took me by surprise in South America is the vast swathes of land dominated by the Andes. It´s not like I didn´t know that there were mountains down here called the Andes, its just that I didn´t quite anticipate the significance of them to geography, climate, culture and mentality. I think that I kinda thought that South America had the Andes in the same way that Europe has the Alps. Sure, the Alps are nice and all, don´t get me wrong. But I wouldn´t say that they have a profound effect on what it means to be European (although admittedly the Swiss are a trifle odd!).

You have to remember that the Andes are a feature of every South American nation barring the Guays (Para- and Uru-), the Guyana's and Brazil. Furthermore, they are the dominating feature of Chile, Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador and Colombia.

This mountain range has functions and effects that reach far beyond its snow-capped peaks. Combined with the Atacama desert for instance, it serves to isolate Chile from the rest of South America in more ways than just geographically. It account for the small stature and big hearts of the Andean Indians and for the tropical sub-zero temperatures of the Bolivian Altiplano (and that's an accurate phrase).

The Andean way of life has a number of qualities that make it so unique and result from the extreme nature of Andean existence.

First of all, travelling in the Andes can be frustrating at the best of times. Whether your preferred method of transport is bus, car, donkey or llama, none of these will ever be able to go from A to B in the same way the crow does (a straight line for those of you who are as thick as two short planks). Unless you´re very lucky, moving between two points will involve a series of near vertical rises and falls and unless you happen to be the owner of a new breed of llama, which comes equipped with a jet engine and wings, you´re going to have to go back and forward along the face of the mountain.

If you say: "I´m going straight from Cuzco to Lima"... what you actually mean is: "I´m going to zig-zag my way from Cuzco to Lima in an intolerably slow and frustrating manner". To travel down here, you need to get used to covering miles in a matter of hours, while progressing only feet towards your stated destination.

Another Andean particularity which I noticed when viewing the majestic Macchu Picchu the other day, is the amount that the locals carry for a living. They appear to spend vast amounts of time lugging shit around (for want of a better phrase). It appears as though this is the same way that their forefathers did it as well. All the Inca ruins I´ve seen so far are very "stone and big-rock dependant" yet almost every tour guide proclaims with pride "that all the rocks used in the construction of this site were taken from a quarry ten miles away / in Uruguay / on the far side of Jupiter".

I think that I had a point when I began this monologue, but I´ve forgotton what it is and I kinda need to use the toilets pretty quickly... If there´s any budding writers reading, then this is a bad example of writing structure and there should really be a conclusion to my babblings. Maybe I´ll put one in the next post.

l8ter

What time is the next cabbage to Lima?

well hello there readers,

have been back from the Jungle for the past few days... didn`t spend as long there as I had originally planned. It was an interesting experience (note the subdued tone) but I definitely wouldn`t have been able to spend any more time there. First of all, it was a nightmare to get to and to get back from... a 26 hour off road bus ride where, once again I got shaken to shit, followed by what turned out to be a 10 hour putt-putt boat trip up the Rio Tampopata.

The place was theoretically a research centre, but in practice it was a family home out in the middle of nowhere run by this moody British bird and her nice (but incomprehensible) Peruvian husband... they take on paying "volunteers" (oxy-what) who they then put to work (fairly hard shit as well, none of this dancing around collecting butterflies lark...). You only had to do three hours work a day, but in the heat of the Jungle it was fairly hardcore. Work ranged from digging a pond to gardening to babysitting their admittedly cute kid. Naturally, all the girls got off with the babysitting (although I don`t think that was all peaches and cream either), and all the guys had to do everything else, which basically boiled down to digging holes all day.

After work, we would go for a swim in a little stream and then take a siesta or walk around in the rain forest. There were only ever about three or four other people there... always rotating... and the atmosphere was subdued. Everyone either read or slept and we all lived for the meals... not because they were haute cuisine but rather because it was something to do...!

Got to see quite a bit of wildlife though... the Peruvian husband took a liking to me (cos I was the only one who had any iota of what he was rabbiting on about) so he showed me all the wildlife... rats the size of dogs, cayman, more capibara, tarantulas, (lethal) bullet ants, porcupines, monkeys, snakes and a few other random jungle inhabitants.

Anyway, when the opportunity came up to go back to civilisation on a taxi boat, after eight days, I jumped at it (figuring that my time would be better spent in Cuzco, or Colombia, or Limerick, or anywhere else on the face of the planet). That was quite the experience though. The journey back took about 11 hours because they stopped everywhere to pick up everyone´s "home pwoduce" to bring back to the town... So we were inundated with an unbelievable amount of bananas, papayas, tomatoes and a million weird fruits and veg that I don`t know. Every time we stopped and filled up, I said to myself: "at least that will be the last stop", thinking one banana more would surely result in sinking... but no, they kept on going and by the time I arrived in the town I was sitting on a papaya throne with bananas on my lap. There was a German guy on the boat with me and we got into some good chats with the locals... so as uncomfortable as it was, it was a great experience... (when tourist boats passed - with 110 HP engines - they slowed down and everyone took photos of us, before ripping off again and leaving us to bob dangerously in their wake... was interesting to be on the receiving end of all those lenses for once... the locals must feel like monkeys in a zoo!)

Its funny they way they try to sell stuff to you here. If you`re not sure what something is and you want to confirm it, they will confirm it, no matter how wrong you are. This may sound stupid, but I thought I was buying tomatoes and oranges from this women off the street and I said to her: Is that a tomato and Is that an orange, and she assured me they were exactly that. It turned out to be passion fruit and a crazy assed (see fucked up) apple. I got the impression, if I were to point at a cabbage and say: "Is that a train journey to Lima", they would say yes and try to sell it to you the cabbage at the price of a train journey to Lima. (And you`d be quite disappointed when you sit on your cabbage and it doesn`t start moving in the direction of Lima... hehe...an amusing mental picture).

So when I got back to Cuzco, I went out on the piss... and now I´m waiting for the train to Macchu Picchu where tomorrow morning I will gander around these famous ruins...

Click here for photos of the Jungle... (please note that the photos whose names begin with "I" are not mine but were taken by a friend and fellow traveller - Moritz - click here for his homepage).

Part of the reason I came back from the jungle early was when I was out there (with so much free time to ponder "stuff"), I realised how little time I have left. I always thought that I had loads of time (eight months obviously being never-ending), but now I have just over two and half months left, and to do what I want to do before I´m sucked back into reality, I need to put the pedal to the metal as they say.

On a more sombre note, I am currently engaged in job applications so that I`ll have some kind of cash flow when I get back to the "Old World". Haven´t even thought about applications in a long time (I used to be a pro), but now when I sit down to write a covering letter, I get shivers down the back of spine... I stare at the screen for five minutes before checking out lonelyplanet.com and typing up imaginary itineraries for future travels... (my most recent crazed idea was a five month tour from Istanbul down the Arabian peninsula and back up through North Eastern Africa to Marrakesh).

Annnnnnnyyyyyywaaaaaayyyyyyy, this post is already far too long... I´m sure no-one`s even reading any more... I could say what I like here and no-one would know... I´m a Communist, ha, only joking... On a more serious note I think harry potter and Dan brown both suck the big one...!

Right, signing off until an update after Macchu Picchu with loads of spiritual, hippie "weren`t-they-a-fantastic-civilisation" crap... (although they couldn`t even read!)...

Smellyalater,

Conor

Catastrophe

Oh yeah, and I thought that I should share my recent bad luck (in fact, the first hiccup of my trip): I lost the frickin´ recharger for my camera... f&*k, bolli%, sh1Te

I don´t even know where I lost the b@$Trd, it just wasn´t in my bag one day... I thought that maybe I left it in one of the hostels, so I rang up all the old ones but no joy... I´m pretty sure that is wasn´t knicked cos it wouldn´t really be of any use to anyone!

The problem is that no-one has a Casio Exilim EX-Z50 (which, by the way, is an absolutely fantastic piece of photographic machinery and which I consider more important to me than several of my body organs - not that one though!)... and the batteries are unique to it and it can only be recharged in its own charger unit... so its a bit of a disaster!

Luckily, today (after having asked every gringo in every hostel for the past week) I found someone with the same camera so I managed to charge both my batteries with his charger... This will (just about) do me for my month in the Jungle if I turn off the screen and use the viewfinder (a technical regression of seismic proportions - paramount to shaving with a kitchen knife)...

Anyway, hopefully I´ll survive until Lima, where I can get another one.

Dinero Management

Buenos dias mis amigos... I´ve arrived in Peru, more specifically in Cusco, the ancient capital of the Incas. Been here about five or six days and its a great place. I´ve got to tell you the truth, but I was a little bit apprehensive about Peru. When I encountered travellers coming from Peru, I frequently felt that they were quite negative about the country, especially its many touristy places (i.e. Cusco especially). Having enjoyed Bolivia and the company of the Bolivian people so much, I was afraid that Peru might be a bit of a downer... I heard stories of locals jumping into your frame when you took a picture and then demanding cash for it afterwards... about being ripped off left right and centre and about a general extortionist attitude of the localstowards foreigners.

I am thrilled to say that so far my fears have been completely misplaced. Although Peru is much more developed than Bolivia, Cusco especially being a significant hub on the Gringo trail (grace a Macchu Picchu), and the locals here are much better adapted to make the best of a thriving tourist industry, I find them pleasent and chatty and open to foreigners. Sure, they come up to you asking you to take a photo, or to buy something, but I think I have a very convincing first rejection that sends them walking immediately (as opposed to hounding you for hours)...

What follows is Conor´s guide to avoid getting ripped off and for getting value for money: (rules in no particular order of importance)

• Rule 1: Knowledge is power. First of all, if you do want a product of a service, then try to ask a gringo who has already done or bought it to tell you how much they paid and whether they felt they got good value for money. I.e. get an idea of the actual price before you approach the local seller... it gives you a significant advantage... you can react to his prices in a much more meaningful way.
• Rule 2: Don´t guarantee your custom. No prices are displayed anywhere and people generally make up prices on the spur of the moment depending on how much they think they can get away with. So before expressing any kind of interest, always ask the price (i.e. don´t put yourself in a position where you consume something without knowing how much it is, or that you let the seller know that you simply must buy something... let them think that you´re browsing or comparing prices... even if your purchase is already certain).
• Rule 3: Remember that all prices are flexible... the existence of a menu , price list or other form of formalised pricing does not mean that prices are set in stone... frequently if you say to people "Listen, what´s your bottom line for X, Y, Z?" then they will give it to (again, showing them that your custom is not guaranteed is always good... in a restaurant for instance, look at the menu before sitting down, choose (or just make up) what you want and go for a good price while standing... only then do you sit down!)
• Rule 4: Be chatty and friendly with people before you purchase, i.e. "buen dia amigo, como te vas" etc... if they like you, it´s less likely that they will rip you off...
• Rule 5: One chance. If looking for something for which there are lots of alternative offers... (i.e. taxi from station into town or something) and someone offers you their product or service (Señor, señor... ciere taxi?), you turn to them and basically say "OK, buddy... I'll go with you if your first price is right... you have one chance at my custom". Now they think to themselves (in Spanish of course): "bollix, what´ll I do... should I try to fuck this gringo over... but if he already knows how much its worth, then I´ll definitely lose him... maybe I´ll just give him the right price so as to be sure of his custom" and they generally make the right decision and give you a decent price. At this point, I usually then take away about ten percent and counter offer... its almost always accepted and if the service is good, I put the ten percent back on as a tip... and I´ve found that this way, I almost always pay very close to the local price and not highly inflated (x2, x3, x15...) gringo prices. If they give you an inflated price, then shake your head in a disappointed manner, turn around and walk away.
• Rule 6: Offer direct purchase. When there are lots of alternative offers, say to people "Listen, I´ll sign up with you / go with you / buy from you right now, without hesitation,at a price of X... anything else and I´ll look around first"... sometimes that works too.
• Rule 7: Downright bribery. This, the "piece de la resistance" works only when you are paying to pass into something or through someone (museum, site, national park etc.)... you wait until the ticket seller is on their own and you approch them to ask the price... you put on your best shocked face and say "What, that much, that´s very pricey... why is it so pricey... I mean how about I pay you a little less... and to tell you the truth, I don´t really need a ticket, I just need to pass through you... ". I find that I pay between 10 and 50 percent of the ticket price (which for national parks can be very expensive). Obviously this is actually bribery, and if you don´t get a ticket, the cash goes straight into the ticket sellers back pocket, but I have no qualms with it, as the corruption down here will guarantee that a certain percentage of the ticket price will disappear into some politicians back pocket so you might as well give it to the ticket seller who gets paid pittance...
• Rule 8: Stick with good people. If people offer you value for money straight up and it is clear that they´re not ripping you off, then buy as many things that you can there (i.e. there´s only one place in Cusco that I buy bottled water from, because on my first day there, the lady charged me the same price for a bottle of water that she had charged to the local who was in front of me - this may seem trivial but is actually quite rare - so now I go back there for almost everything).
• Rule 9: Steer clear from bad people. If someone really tries to rip you off in a bad way, then that´t the way they are... turn around, walk away and even if they shout lower prices after you, even something that you would consider paying... don´t give them your custom!
• Rule 10: Mass is important: Try to do things as groups, or to buy in bulk... an increased amount of business helps your leverage on price...

This all sounds very scabby and miserly, but people will exploit if you don´t take care... You should also turn the tables on yourself and let your value-for-money paradigm work both ways, not only in your pockets favour... i.e. pay for the value you recieve, no more, but no less!

Also, don´t grind people down to a price where they make no margin... this is unfair! I don´t think you feel a sense of achievement if you have haggled some poor person down to a point where they are not making cash... If you decide to buy from a vendor, sometimes there should be an element of charity in your purchase... you have to distinguish that from a purely functional purchase in a store.

Anyway, enough rambligs on how to be miserish, I´m off to the jungle on Tuesday for a months work in an Eco Lodge called the Picaflor Research Centre (website here)... Its volunteerish and it will guarantee me a cheap month... Won´t have internet access so will not update v. often (if at all)...

Have spent my time in Cusco boozing and seeing some Inca stuff... but I will go to Macchu Picchu upon my return from the Jungle at which point I will tell you all about the Inca´s and all the crazy stuff they got up to... because it really is very interesting. I will also be able to talk more authoritavely on Peru and its people, so I look foward to that...

Will try to update with a small post before I go direction Jungle... que se vayan bien, compadres!

Your thoughts are required...

Been in Copacabana for the past few days (the less well known Bolivian one and not the crazy Brazilian one... Spanish-speaking South America is the rule... remember...).

Anyway, this place is by Lake Titicaca, a huge big lake in the Peruvian and Bolivian Andes and its the staging post for trips to the Lake´s two main islands, Isla del Sol and Isla de la Luna...

I´m just back from two nights on Isla del Sol and it was absolutely fantastic... it´s obvious where the island gets its name from, because there´s one thing that you can´t miss when you´re there, you have the sun beating down on you from the moment its rises to the moment it sets... got sunburned on my ears... which is a bit of a first!

On the first night I hiked (something else that can´t be avoided on this island) to a less-visited town on the east coast, where I met a french couple and we had a lovely meal of fresh trout followed by great craic around a campfire... I travelled around the rest of the island with them for the next day and half (Yvan and Valerie... click here for their blog - pour les francophones) and we had a couple more trout and perch meals and generally enjoyed ourselves around campfires with beer and music (the former being a permanent travelling companion, the latter a rare treat). You can find pictures of the island here.

Anyway, I´m back on the mainland now and am having another intellectual epiphany that I thought I would share with you without being a ponsy fucker... I´ve been reading a book of JP Sartre´s plays, "No Exit" being the main one (I´ve read the French version, "Huis Clos", before, but I´m understanding the English version a little bit better). It´s an illustration of Sartre´s concept of existentialism... Without being to arty-farty about the whole thing, let me explain this briefly:

Sartre reckons that the human essence (i.e. your essence or what it means to be you) is defined by the human existence (i.e. your life or the sum of its parts)... This means that essence follows existence, and that what it means to be you is defined by your life and what you do in it, and not that essence precedes existence, or that your essence has been designed by some higher being before your creation.

This gives each of us the ability to define ourselves and says that we must take full responsibility for our own persona's and not shove it off on some divinity that created us "for better or for worse"... Furthermore, Sartre says that it is solely the appearance (Conor´s interpretation: our actions) that create our essence from our existence and not anything hidden behind these appearances (i.e. our feelings???)

Anyway, I am l finding myself drawn to this point of view and would very much appreciate if we could start a moral debate on the issue. You can find more info about Sartre´s existentialism here and it would be great if you could use the comments function on this post (its not very difficult, its the one that says Comments on the bottom left of this post, then go to the bottom of the page to post yourself...).

Your thoughts are required here, so if you have the ability to think, then please express yourself... I´m new to this whole philosophy thing, so don´t be afraid to tell me that I´m talking through my h%$* (ahem, have had some complaints regarding language!!!)...

It´s about time this blog got interactive...

Going to Cuzco in Peru next, where hopefully I´ll see these Macchu Picchu ruins... I´m over the 30 day visa in Bolivia though, and am now officially an illegal immigrant, so if I don´t update again, it means that I´ve been sent to jail for ten years trying to cross the border (or else that I´ve had my hands cut off and I can´t type anymore - "What a disaster that would be", I hear you say)...